Presence, Gratitude, and the Neurodivergent Family: Why Small Moments Matter More Than We Realize
Answering the Call from the Present Moment
Parenting a neurodivergent child can feel fast, intense, and unpredictable. The constant planning, advocating, and adapting can pull us out of the moment and into a state of chronic vigilance. Presence becomes something we long for but struggle to access.
Gratitude—real, grounded gratitude—offers a way back.
Not because it asks us to be thankful for hard things, or to gloss over our children’s challenges, but because it gently returns us to the moment we are actually in. It interrupts survival mode, widens our perspective, and reminds our nervous systems that it is safe to arrive.
The Neuroscience of Gratitude
Research shows that gratitude broadens how we think, helping us see possibilities, progress, and connection that stress can otherwise eclipse. For parents of neurodivergent children, this widening matters; it becomes easier to notice the tiny signs of growth that are often the truest markers of our children’s journeys. A moment of eye contact, a new food tried, a softer exhale—these become anchors, not afterthoughts.
Gratitude also reframes our experiences. It doesn’t remove the challenges of neurodivergent parenting, but it changes the meaning-making around them. A small win becomes evidence of resilience, not scarcity. A moment of calm becomes proof that regulation is possible, not fleeting. Over time, this reframing builds a steadier inner landscape.
On a neurological level, gratitude activates the circuits associated with empathy and emotional regulation. This matters because our own regulated nervous systems are the foundation of co-regulation with our children. When we pause to acknowledge even one thing that is going right, we send a subtle but powerful message to the body: you can settle now. Presence grows in that settling.
And finally, gratitude strengthens connection. Neurodivergent families often experience isolation or misunderstanding. Celebrating those who support us—teachers, therapists, friends, small kindnesses—reminds us that we are part of a larger web of care.
“Gratitude gently interrupts survival mode, widens our perspective, and shifts our attention from what’s missing to what’s already here — reassuring our nervous systems that it is safe to arrive.”
-Presencing Parenthood
Gratitude: The Bridge to Presence
In the end, gratitude isn’t a feeling we wait for. It’s a practice of returning—returning to ourselves, to our breath, to the small moments of beauty woven into our days. It shifts us from scanning for what’s missing to noticing what’s here. And in that noticing, presence begins to take root.
Small moments. Soft pauses. Tiny acknowledgments.
This is how we come back to presence.
Presencing Parenthood
Offering Parent Support for Parents of Neurodivergent Children through the lens of Presence and Gratitude.
