Beyond Acceptance: Discovering Belonging and Strength Within Our Neurodiverse Community
I Once Believed Acceptance Was the Final Destination, but Here is What I Have Found:
Acceptance is only the middle of the road - a resting place between grief and the extraordinary gift of belonging.
When my child was diagnosed with autism, and especially regressive autism with significant medical complexity, I worked tirelessly toward “acceptance.” I wanted to make peace with the pain, with the unanswered questions, with the ache of the life I thought we were supposed to have. Acceptance felt like the end goal - the highest spiritual ground I could reach. And for a long time, it was enough to just stay there.
But somewhere along the way, a shift began. It started in small moments: the joy of a shared glance, the laughter that bubbled unexpectedly, the pride in every triumph. The beauty of who my son is - not who he could have been, or should have been, but simply is - began to take up more space in my heart that the sadness ever did.
Without realizing it, I was moving past acceptance, I was beginning to feel affirmation and experience celebration.
This journey has taught me that autism is not a condition to be cured, but a neurotypE; complete with a rich culture and community WHERE we are finding belonging.
This is a unique world of communication, perception and connection - we are lucky to be a part of it. My son’s neurodivergence is not a tragedy; it is an invitation. An invitation to a fuller, more complex love. To a broader version of humanity. To a pride I never knew I needed to find.
A New Cycle of Growth:
GRIEF: asked me to let go of control.
ACCEPTANCE: Asked Me to lay down my expectations.
AFFIRMATION: asked me to pick up joy and pride.
BELONGING: Now asks me to CELEBRATE and STAND WITH My child and the broader autistic community.
In this new space, I no longer whisper, “Why me?” Instead, I embrace a life of interdependence where I receive at least as much as I give.
I do not erase or deny the past. I honor the grief, the confusion, the hard-won healing. i still have days when the sorrow surfaces — this, too, is part of the belonging. But now I know our story is not one of Brokenness, but of becoming; for US and our community.
The same wind that once carried my surrender now lifts my voice in solidarity. It whispers not just of survival, but calls for action - to journey beyond acceptance and awareness into pride and celebration. There is still much advocacy ahead of us, but for me, it now comes from a place rooted in a deeper truth:
“Parenthood found us - not to test us - but to unlock a love powerful enough to hold all of these truths.”
THere is beauty beyond acceptance: What does inclusion look like for autistic individuals who identify as having A Brain-body disconnect?
Follow me as I continue to share our next chapters of advocacy for interdependence and inclusion within our community. Belonging is contagious. I am forever grateful for those who blazed the trail before us. The words of non-speakers are loud, and because of you, my son has a way to openly communicate. I will continue to be your advocate, your friend and if you seek me out - your therapist.
PROUD THERAPIST FOR THOSE WHO SPELL TO COMMUNICATE - working on becoming a CRP for you.
